Terrible withdraw syndrome

” I know it will take time. Maybe this isn’t love but a terrible lust withdrawal. I do not sleep well most nights. Tossing and turning or looking at the ceiling. I imagine him everywhere. When I’m with another he is still judging me. I see he must be happy. I mean I long cease going to Facebook. I could visit any page I want but I lose interestas soon as I remind myself I mustn’t see his page. I dont see a point and seeing comments other wise. I could make another page no matter how much he block me but I think he hates me so I lose face. It’ like losing your youth and essence of life all at once by rejection from the one person you love. You know there’s better but it honestly feels like uselessly digging at the bottom of the barrel. Maybe that’s all I got. Or all I had. I’m tired of hating or loving. I wish I never met him then I wouldn’t be on such a fine line to this lost. It’s terrible every got damn car, every male voice I just want him. I have cold chills at night. I fine myself looking around like a got damn baby looking for momma. ”

Tears run down Sherrie’s face as she brings her feet to her chin. Sitting on the free foam futon couch. Dr. Frank gets the tissue box and passes it to her. The smell of lavender and pomegranate vanilla became lighter the doctor notices the time from the grandfather clock by the door.

Dr. Frank a skinny oval face bald middle aged man brings a bony index finger to the bottom of his glasses to adjust them. He clears his throat.

” Why yes unrequited love is naturally very exhausting. For someone whose gave and expected nothing in return only trust, recognization, and respect for 9years is time going into honestly a relationship. This was a heartless being whose concern was clearly for himself made you do all the guessing work. And through you didn’t ask for him to change for you as the giving party suffered because your feelings grew from like, admiration, then truly love. For men who love sacrifice themselves into the one they love all giving and rarely asking. It is a most difficult quality to indeed find in this world. As a pyscologist I say your feelings are completely normal and not at all over reacting the situation. It is him for not recognizing then speaking upon rather he shared or did not accept your feelings. ”

The Doctor place his glasses down and rubs his eyes. Clicks his tongue as he takes a sip of water.

” Ms. Sherrie there is no time frame for which the heart mends but I hope you understand me when I tell you I hope you take care that not sleeping is a bad habit to break and you must find an outlet other than my office such as boxing or something where maybe you can put your energy and focus in before bed time to ease that wondering mind. ”

Sherrie sniffs ” I understand Doctor.”

Dr. Frank ” This will allow bad vibes, energy and stress to release from the body. As I think what you described earlier as grieving. You have depression which doesn’t necessarily require medicine as you must have a meletonin embalance. This sudden cut off from a relationship and not from your own end had a dramatic effect on you which cause a lot of misunderstanding and doubts. You are not unworthy of love, respect, nor concern. This fellow simply took avantage of your kind heart and I am a true believer he will get his due diligence. ”

Dr. Frank turns the knob of his front French doors. As he space out into fireplace sitting in his fullform custom cushion arm chair the light of the fire cracks and the frame of his glasses made the doctor look ill. A whistle as the kettle alarmed the house of hot ready water, the doctor reluntantily arise from his seat. Still staring into the distance as he stir the honey in the cup of tea he storms out the kitchen and picks up the keys from the key bowl set on a small table with a red Italian cloth next to the basement door. He struggles to get the key into the lock. He exhales heavily and wipes the sweat from his brow.

Finally the door opens with a musk and heat greets the doctor’s nostril as he slowly walks down the stairs tapping his finger nails on the banster. He whistles and chains can be heard just as the doctor’s foot lands on the basement floor. The doctor looks down the hallway as he lights one latern as if by magic the other 7 followed.

The doctor leans against one of the heavy metal door. The last one from the stairs on his left. He opens the slide big enough for viewing.

” I met her today. ”

The sound of a chain and ball fell upon the floor.

” She is stuggling.”

The doctor sighs and takes off his glasses and out of his pocket a hankechief to wipe the lens.

” You should really be more manarable towards women. You did come to this world through one. ”

The doctor sighs again as he nods his head. With a bowed head he smiles.

” You should hear how she yearns to be with you. I think she’s a wonderful person and instead of toying with her, you could have made it work. She cried again today. I didn’t appreciate you making her sad and oh so tired. Look like the dear woman hadn’t slept well recently. She has had her good days and bad but I think something recently triggered it. ”

Placing his glasses into his sweater chest pocket and returned the hankechief to its. He grabs a marble cane hanging near the door each door had a similar cane by it. The doctor points it at the door across way.

” It was him”

He said turning his head to the peepdoor as if the person was beside him.

” This piece of garbage here.”

Still pointing at the door with the tip of the cane.

” Tried to rape her! I could hear her outside her bedroom window she said no. Get off! Fighting to not have him. This son of a bitch huffing and puffing as if he was doing us a solid. It’s men like you and him giving humanity alike a bad name. I bet she was thinking who was going to save her? Who should have been there and she wouldnt say no to.”

A voice from inside the room which the doctor open the peep hole answer weakly.

“You!”

The doctor smiles and turned the cane to hit the corner top of the door frame. Shaking his head.

” Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk……no no no no. You! I’m happy longs she’s happy. When she suffers I owe a great debt to her. Her kindness isnt her flawed. But her choice she seriously can’t help it. Roses are beautiful and with many colors with thorns for to keep many away and yet taken forgranted. She oh.”

The doctor stammers a bit as he looks up at the ceiling. His lips trembling as through chill ran down his spine from the thought. He clicks his tongue

” She’s a masterpiece and I am but a servent slain by her beauty. A puppet of her every whimp. An old fart.”

He looks at his hands.

The voice repond raspy and low “so she ordered you to do this.”

The doctor stunned but regains his balance.

” No lad. I done this solely on my own record. You have my word as a gentleman.”

The voice cracks ” you aim to kill me?”

The doctor smiles as he leans forward on his cane he sways his lower hip and the cracking of bone echoes the hall. He pops his neck and stretches his shoulders.

” That also is no lad. However I plan to kill that sack of meat across from you. Aggressive behavior is punishable by law. If you must act like an animal. It is best to find a mate of similar interests.”

A scream of horrible agony interrupts the doctor.

” A Queen is hard to find and no man or boy by any means should disregard her decree.”

The scream ends followed by a loud thud and a nasty eerie splat sound. The voice in the other room hurls. The doctor smiles.

” This concludes tonight’s lesson. Tomorrow I shall feed you nutritionist meals Mr. Drake. Ms. Sherrie should see you in fit shape. Mustn’t keep the Queen waiting for her King and knight.

Drake ” what if I don’t return to her. What if I just report you both. She had to put you up to this!

The doctor taps his cane vigerously against the door.

” Dear lad. If she had anything to do with this, I wouldn’t set you free. But that’s up to you.”

The doctor looks at his watch.

” You been here 3months 4days 19 hours, 22min and 32seconds. The Queen is miserable without you and as much as I would love to, she wants you. And I only desire her to be happy. So behave or end up like this jerk here. Whom I really should have thought of a cleaner method to rid our world of. ”

Drake looks at the monitor in his room and hurl again at the image frozen of a body headless and intenstine and privates riped off by a midevil device.

” Goodnight Drake and remember your freedom is entirely up to you.”

As the doctor return the cane into the holster held in the wall he fixes his sweater vest, blows out the latern and begins to walk up the stairs.

” Drake lad I do hope to release in 3 weeks. By then this would be a terrible nightmare for you both.”

The doctor smiles and whistles “close to you.” Going up the stairs.

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On the radio

Carlie station 42.1 This your girl Carlie its 8:15 your host for tonight. Real talk. How is everyone doing? I love, love, love my fans and love my fans to talk back. It is now the hour which people respond. Really! No! He didn’t! She didn’t say that! Let’s put it on the radio and dry out those dirty drawers. Here’s our first listener. Carrie.

Carrie “Hello.”

Carlie ” Hay lady, how are you? Welcome to it’s your hour on the radio with me your girl Carlie.”

Carrie ” Hi Ms. Carlie thank you so much oh my gosh. I’m on the air haha.

Carlie ” Yes girl, so whats the dirty sits tonight? Or are you hollering at the folks back at home?”

Carrie laughs ” Oh well I’m hollering at the folks at home. I need to tell them something at once and all my peeps listens to your show.”

Carlie chuckles ” Well thank you I have mad love for all my mad fans. So Carrie what’s your news forecast for all your lovely peeps listening to my beautiful show at home.

Carrie silent for a moment. Then a sudden squeal” I’ m getting married!”

Carlie scuffs ” Omgs girl congratulations. Whose the lucky or fortunate fellow? What he do and how did he propose?”

Carrie ” Just now. We are at the football game and Auburn won and up on the board he had will I marry him, and I was just screaming and I don’t know what came over me. I was like we been together 9 years on and off and I though for sure he might like not be into me like that….”

Carlie interrupts ” but then he pops the question and had that ring… You knew what time it was.

Carrie crying ” He propose to me!”

Carlie ” Congratulations. Here’s to my next caller Jessie! What’s up girl. Dirty laundry or news hun?”

Jessie ” Oh dirty laundry, for 300 please?”

Carlie scoots closer to the mic. ” Oh girl do tell. ”

Jessie ” Well first congrats to Carrie for finding a good one. Through he wouldn’t made her wait so long.

Carlie “Right!”

Jessie ” What’s up with those hump brothers?”

Carlie burst out laughing ” Sorry hump brothers?”

Jessie ” You know the type. The be all on a sister bumping like a dang monkey, as if they momma taught them nothing.

Carlie ” I see. ” Scratches her head

Jessie inhales sharply ” ok let me start from the top. I was chilling with a brother right? And he went all crazy. First we hung out he was cool. Brought a sister a drink and it was seriously hot out and I was like he seemed cool. He asked if he could see me the next day. No show.

Carlie ” oh no, see I don’t play that!”

Jessie ” so I see him again says something came up but could we meet up later that day.

Carlie ” um hum.”

Jessie ” Negro was over an hour late and arrived with liquor in a foam cup. I was like seriously. So he asked to pee and when I went in to see what was up cause we were chilling initially on the porch. Like I caught his ass asleep in my bed. I was like nigga what! He was all stretched out.

Carlie ” You would have kicked his butt out your house and had a police escort him to either his crib or jail!”

Jessie ” I don’t know sister always tired and I had no interest in having sex or making waves. Anyway negro grabs my wraps real quick then spun me onto the bed and began dry humping I’m like fighting him to get off and he trying so hard to pull up my dress or throw me off my bed.

Carlie ” Are you OK? You should have monsters like that behind bars where he can get a taste of his own prescription. ”

Jessie ” I manage to get from under him, I mean for real between him fucking the air or lying completely on top of me which he by no means a real fat fellow but he wouldn’t no light weight on a sister by far, hear what I’m saying?”

Carlie ” yeah I gotcha.”

Carrie ” What baffled me was that this grown man was trying so hard to have sex with a stranger. The length he went. Even when I got him to the door he grabbed my shoulder tried to turn me around and bend me over talking about 5 min let me hit it as if he was no doubt entitled. Really scared me. I block his number and just now I don’t trust men. For real real talk? Why do men feel it necessary to deprive women the right to say no? Why the act like we objects and ain’t got no feelings? Why men act like its pride that we reject them when really sex is much deeper for a woman. Think about it. Who gotta accept a him. All I can say is man was stupid. Kept trying to force me to force me to touch it.”

Carlie “Well I am glad you lost contact with him. Thank you so much for sharing Carrie. Wow this is crazy. Ladies if any man you meet is aggressive in any way disregard him. You deserve respect. Hay and any man out there with an aggressive female leave. Don’t accept any person that does not respect you. Hay looks lime has whined down. Everyone have a beautiful night. “

Miles apart

Sitting next to James, Claire is pondering. James seem distant and cold.

Claire picks up the barbeque flavored twistes chips and crutches loudly. James snaps into reality and glares at Claire. Claire sticks her tongue out. Then suddenly bites her lower corner lip.

Claire” so this is the end? You want to break up?” James exhales ” We never dated we just smashes.” Claire leaps back unto the hood of the car and looks to the night sky with trembling lips, burning cheeks, and eyes wailing up.

“I love you, James.” James sighs loudly, places his hands into his pockets he leans against Claire. Claire drops her head as the tears stream down her face, her heavy sniffing echo’s into the night air. Through the night air was beginning to chill the two were sweating.

Claire chokes ” Why?” James turns to face Claire, he parts her thighs with his knees as he holds her side. ” You love me, more.”Claire cries heavier as she throws herself into his shoulders one nostril closed she can still breaths in his musk. James musk whose she wakes up to. Go to bed with, watch from a distance as he goes about his day. Claire always watch and knowing this day may come dreaded ever second she went about her day not by his side. Her heart sink shattered in the heat of battle to unrecognizable pieces. In its place was oozing life she suddenly felt ill, tired, and out of breathe. James’s hands move from her waist to her thighs as he gives on final squeeze. ” I just don’t love you Claire.” Claire jumped from the car knocking off the hood of the car the snacks and drinks. She scratches and nods her head as she walks to her house, she opens the door and slams against it. Sliding against the door she falls into indian position.

She weeps bitterly ” How could you be so cruel to me after all these years? Since when did I lose your love?”

The engine of the car spuddered as James whips the car and drives off to the freeway home.

Later that night Claire goes to the bathroom. Her hair totally a mess, makeup ruined and clothes diserray. Claire grabs one handful of hair and snips it with the scissors in the other. As she look at the new do she stuffs a grocery bag from walmart full of her formal hair. She sniffs as the words repeated in her mind. ” I just don’t love you, Claire.” Claire shouts back ” Then I won’t love either! No matter who comes my way. I will be just as cold as there isn’t no one better, James you wait and see. When I become the woman every great man wishes he had. I make you beg on knees to return to me. Let’s see if I be so gracious then? If your not taken by then.”

The bottom line

Brian crosses his arms and coldly remarks. ” I dont get why you women are all alike especially you black ones.

Christine cheeks were heated as she held back her tears of anger. She swallows the hurtful words and nods her head as she rocks against the walls of her bedroom she looks to the ceiling and licks the side of her mouth. ” Brian your one stupid man. You insisted on having sex after knowing me, what, 3 in a half days!” Brian barks ” you entered my pocket as I was a sleep!” Christine replies ” you moron the condom felled unto the bed so I returned it. I didn’t attack you! You barged into my bedroom! I never pretended we were going to do something I clearly had zero interest in you sexually. Zero!”

Brian punches his fist into the bedroom wall. Christine sharply ” Get out! All you men think about is sex! You ain’t entitled to nothing! This my body and I deserve to be respected, I’m got damn human being not some got damn animal for your sick pleasures and amusement. Act like I have no say in my got damn home, you tripping! Leave” she growled. Brian takes Christine by the wrist. ” I ain’t leaving without something!” Pulling and tearing at her dress Christine takes out her hidden taser and aims it into Brian’s neck as the volts release a powerful surge the smell of burnt hair and iron faints into the room. As Brian’s body fall unto the floor so does Christine from the shock of using the taser.

An hour later a key turns in the front room door. Kevin enters and closes the door as slowly as not to wake the home. Brian is still in the spot he fell while as Christine backed into the corner the taser still tightly in her hand, she begins to whimper. Kevin locks the door and walks over to Christine. He crotches over her as he removes the taser and holds her. Stroking her short hair. He rubs her hands his hands lukewarm. He smelled of a bit of cigar, alcohol, but the overwhelming smell musk and men spray on deorderant. Christine can tell he swung over soon as he left work from out the city. Her tears begin to choke her as she didn’t expect him to answer her call let alone to remember where the key was hidden outside.

Kevin helps Christine to her feet as he looks as Brian on the floor, Brian moans. Kevin takes the taser and zaps him in the back.

Christine holds Kevin back. Kevin rubs Christine’s arms back and forth. ” Are you alright? Did he rape you? Touch you?” Christine shakes her head and Kevin exhales. ” What do you want me to do? Whatever it is I got you.” Christine looks at Kevin then back at Brian.

Driving and feeling anxious as Brian lay in the passenger seat, Christine checks the rearview mirror as Kevin follows in his loud forest green Mercedes 3 lengths of a car away a siren goes off and Christine pulls over. 2 officers exit the car. As one go on both sides of the dodge Christine’s heart beat faster. The officer taps the window. ” yes sir?” The officer responds” Are you aware the tag expire and the left light is out Miss?” Christine shakes her head. The other officer shouts. ” We are going to need to see your license and registrations, ma’am.” Christine checks the glove department for registration then pull out her license and hands them both to the officer on her left as she places her hands back on the steering wheel. The officer ” Your not Brian Maze is he, that pass out on the side of you there? ” Christine “Sir.” The other officer ” This man smells of alcohol. ” He flashes the flashlight at Christine. ” Have you both been drinking ma’am?” Christine ” No sir. The bar asked me to pick him up as he passed out there. I’m only driving him and the car home.” Kevin walks slowly to the police as the office recognized him, he explains the situation and the police return to the pickup. ” I’m sorry for the misunderstanding ma’am, your fiance explained everything and now free to go. ” as he passes the information back he grabs his belt walk to his car and drives off.

Brian moans. Christine nods at the passing officers. ” Oh shut up! The quicker we part the better I feel. Christine cranks up the car as Kevin signal he is ready. At the Mountain Brook park Brian is in the driver seat pants and shirtless. Christine chuckles ” His clothes in the trunk, should be glad his drawers are on since I have no interest in seeing it, anyway. Kevin chuckles ” Real men should respect women at all times.” Christine smiles at Kevin ” Fiance?”

Kevin looks at Christine seriously. ” If you have me?” Christine kisses Kevin passionately and he leans his forehead on hers. ” What took you so long?” As they seat in the car Christine admires the ring. The scream. The car jolts then Kevin gains control o the car. ” What!?” Christine takes hold of Kevin’s arm. ” Thank you.” Kevin chuckles. ” Well not like he’s dead and we got off with murder. ” Christine eyes widen and she pinches Kevin who chuckles. ” For choosing me. I thought you hated me.” Kevin looks at Christine ” No I dont hate you. I never could.” Christine scratches her head and scream. Kevin ” Woman! What is it now.” Christine pokes out her lip. ” I cut my hair!” Kevin snickers and nods his head. He places one hand on her head and strokes it to the back. ” So, still beautiful. ” Christine smiles as she leans back against the car door. ” What have you done with the old Kevin?”

The gentleman and the player

Mark is sitting at the bar when Travis a skinny, tall, medium built 35 6ft 2 enters the scene. Mark doesn’t notice as he is staring in his glass. Travis seize the moment to tap him on his right as Mark looks to his left. Travis shuffle on his foot almost losing his balance. The two men laugh and greeted with a hug

Mark ” my man it’s been too long.” Travis too long. What 2 years?” Mark chuckles he’s 6ft dimples teeth that makes him look like he model for men’s and family magizane. Mark ” really has been a long time, hay let’s sit at a table. I have one reserve just for the occassion.” Travis ” Yeah alright lead the way.” Mark ” Man look at you, you look like you on the leash, where’s wife?” Travis takes a seat ” Oh no, I’m single and always on the prowl?” Mark chuckles softly ” You not rootiv the same team are you there Travis?” Travis taken back and a bit shock ” Come on man, really?” Mark ” niggro that ain’t a no.” Travis ” Nawl man I ain’t gay. I’m just not ready for that anytime soon?’ Mark “Had to make sure. Josh told me you still single and I was like, he got someone. Come on man your 35, complication for pregnancy increase on both sides as we get older, now. Travis ” you do you and I do me.” Mark ” aight, I ain’t paying for no old folks home for you. I ain’t paying a young lady to change your diaper.” Mark screench his face as if an 50year old egg had cracked. ” No one should have to see your wickled dick.” Travis laughs ” Man preacher boy. Can you tell me why I’m here, or should I leave and you save these souls in the bar?” Mark took a sip of his tea. ” I’m getting married.” Travis looks at Mark as through to say for real. ” Yeah. Me.” Travis nods his head and takes a shot of his Vodka ” Man what?” Mark ” I would like you to be the best man.” Travis gets up and signal for a hug. Mark laughs and rise to hug his friend. Travis a little touch in his voice ” Man I’m honored. You know I got your back. I didn’t even know you were dating.” Mark sits down ” Yeah man. Before I knew it I was ring haunting. I just had to say something. She the one I couldn’t let pass by. ” Travis sits and signal to the waiter a refill. ” Man have I met her?” Mark laughs ” you meet this weekend. I need you to behave those old jokes and womanizing ways she dont tolorate. ” Travis eaves his hand defensively ” She don’t tolorate? What is she your momma?” Mark scoots closer to the table ” I am so serious man. She’s the one and we getting married in 2 months, I don’t need any screw ups, momma jokes, or faith jokes.” Travis laughs so much he bellows over. Mark scratches his ear as he waits for his friend to cease. Travis ” you found yourself a real kill joy. If you let me put her to the test I save you from the worse mistake.” Mark snaps ” Christine is not a mistake! She is my soon to be wife. In the 1 half year we been together she allowed me to see a life I would rather have with her than trying to continue dating aimlessly. I believe we were put together by God, because she is truly amazing and just you have to meet her. Travis clicks his tongue in disbelief as he looks to the ceiling. ” She must have big breast.” Mark exhales ” Man come on!” Travis meets his friend face and nods ” ok. I can see you totally over the moon for her, so I will try to behave.

Travis watches the woman enter the bathroom as Mark approaches she reemerges from the bathroom Travis takes one step but Mark beats him to her. Travis looking confuse. Mark lists his voice ” Hay everyone, this fine lady here.” She nudges Mark’s side and he takes her hand. ” She my future wife, Christine. Travis eyes widen as he realize for the first time, he wanted what Mark had. Christine smiles at Mark biting her lips, nodding and shaking the guest hands. They make their way to Travis. Mark excitedly ” bay, meet my best friend slash best man Travis Dekato from Wisconsin. ” Christine extends her hand” Nice to meet you.” Her voice was mellow deep. Brown skin 5ft 7without the heels. Travis takes a sip of his whiskey. Christine smiles and looks at Mark who is glaring at his friend. ” Excuse us babe, I be right back.” He snatches Travis into the hallway. ” What the hell was that?”

Travis yells “What about him that makes him so special?” Christine takes a sip of her cream soda in a bottle. She chuckles ” I don’t know when it started. He wasn’t like you which made it great. I don’t need a model or pretty boy. I need a man that won’t push me to change. He never tried to change, fix, alter, me in any way. Now did he listen and at first he was just silent.” She sniffs ” I thought he was being rude but he was taking it in. He didn’t expect anything from me, nor force his friends on me. ” Christine takes another sip. ” He knew how stubborn I was and patiently awaited my text messages. It would be one every other day, asking how I was, if I needed anything. His shoulder are always available for me alone. He sees I hate confrontation and very particular and for whatever reason turns him on and not away. In short he is a far better man than you, Travis. Christine arise from the couch and walks away. just as she passes Travis grabs her wrist but suddenly lets go. Christine leaves the bar.

Travis Chuckles “He is better.”

At Kevin’s wake

Thomas exits the kitchen and enter the parlor with two mugs of hot coffee. He hands one to Delicia and the other to Jasmine. Paul is sitting on the couch and watching football. Old women could be heard wailing and screaming from the Den as he turns up the volume. Aunt Nancy screams ” Lord he was so young!” Great uncle Pete weeping bitterly in the corner ” He was a good boy.” Is all he could muscle out. Jared sighs and nod with a face of utter disbelief but hands shaking as if the crowded house had death walking and watching for it’s next victim throughout it. Thomas scratches his nose. ” I didn’t think he would go before any of us.” Jasmine with tearful eyes ” Then when? In what order were we to go Thomas?” Thomas looks at Jasmine ” I’m sorry former” using hand quation marks. “Mrs. Winston. Didn’t think the comment would make you suffer.” Delicia sips her coffee ” Ew, Thomas this is bitter.” Thomas takes the cup from and her hand and sips the coffee. “Ack,” smacking his tongue in disgust. ” No its too sweet!” Delicia sighs heavily and marches to the kitchen. Thomas inhales” what I still don’t get is how he managed to not only marry 3x but how he married you two and you be fine.”Jasmine looks at Paul who greets Adrian and her son. Jasmine smirks ” why is she here?” Thomas looks at Jasmine with dismay. ” Well wife #2 far as I know that son beside her is Kevin’s, also she was the last wife.”

Paul walks over to Adrain, sobbingly pushing aside the handsy Uncle Jasper. Uncle Jasper. Catching his balance. “My Adrian you too young to be a fool’s widow. 49 years old and your son’s only 14. He shouldn’t be without a father. ” Uncle Jasper’s leg caves under him suddenly as he looked over to the foyer where Kevin’s casket is, as through a wind nudge him from that direction. Adrian looks around and spots Delicia and Jasmine as if to say so what she continues to search around. ” Uncle Jasper “please have a seat and try to calm your nerves we don’t want to have to send you to the hospital.” The boy also looks around and says ” Mom, where is aunt Christine?” Jasmine over hearing the question she looks around as if nervous and guilty. Pastor Jacob enters the room. He walks over to Adrian “Mrs. Winston how are you feeling? Is there any thing I may get you before the service?” Adrian looks around almost worried. ” I am awaiting a friend pastor and as soon as she arrive we may get started.

Delicia walks over to the table followed by Brendon, Kevin’s older brother who resemblance is uncanny only broader and an inch shorter then Kevin was. Jasmine snorts ” well there’s one person. I truly know isn’t coming.” Brendon’s shock at the tone of disgust he looks at her head tilted as through seeing a stranger take a sip out of his cup. Thomas answers ” If you speaking of who I think you are ..” Delicia scuffs ” Of course she wouldn’t be here.” Interrupting Thomas Brandon looks puzzle ” Who is this woman that ruffled you ladies feathers?” Chuckles as he takes the coffee pot from the maker and pours himself a cup. ” She surely isn’t a dull one ” Thomas slyly answers” Christine.” Delicia presses her elbow into Thomas side as Jasmine leans her body into Thomas pressing her the heel of her foot in top of Thomas’s. Brandon scringes his face as he slyly scratches the back of his head. While Thomas blankly stare into the crowd he takes another sip if his coffee.

Christine enters as if being summoned was greeted by Adrian who hugs Kevin’s son first then Adrian. Jasmine” What the hell is she doing here?” Thomas looks at Jasmine and Delicia and shoves his hands in his pockets. Delicia with a mocking undertone ” Did you know she would be here?” Thomas rocks on his heels. ” Well she deserve to be here as much as anyone. A matter of fact she contributed more, how could I tell her no but thanks for the checks.” Jasmine paces back and forth ” I can’t believe. ” Thomas intervenes ” He would have wanted her to be here.” Another young man enters and shakes hands with Adrian’s son. Adrian seem to be please with him as he stands beside Christine. Delicia whispers in a shocking tone” look at him.” As she takes a step back. Thomas cocks his head sideways ” He looks like Kevin.” Jasmine smirky ” So she found her a young man that double ganger of Kevin. They look cozy. She’s old enough to be that boy’s mama. How dare she bring her a man at the so called man she loves funeral. “

Pastor Jacob exits after shaking hands with Christine and the young man. At the pollium “now the family will say solo farewell to a very young talented brother who led a life of a man of God. I knew Kevin before I was saved and boy we were trouble makers. I have to admit Kevin had a certain light about him. You couldn’t deny he made you hate loving him sometime.” Christine sitting in the back laughs “sure did.” Adrian looks at Christine watching the casket as if half expecting Kevin to rise. Adrian takes Christine’s hand “You ok?” Christine shakes her head and the waterworks began. The young man embraces Christine whisper into her ear. His eyes blood shot and checks a bit swollen as if he cried and screamed.

Pastor Jacob “Now I would like to invite a sister who is hiding in the back to be the first to say her official farewell. As she won’t do so without a push Christine may you, come on up here?”

Christine looks at Kevin as he lay in a dark green and blue suade suit. Tears streaming down face and trembling lips she sniffs ” you basturd. How could you leave this way? ” choking her tears back ” I loved you, and I didn’t even get a proper hug you son of a bitch you so damn selfish!” Christine fans her face. ” I hate you making me wait! ” Christine bites her lips and places her hand on the casket, tears fall unto Kevin’s inner vest. ” you should have came back to me!” She growls and looks to heaven as she wipes her tears, she swallows a heavy knot in her throat which seemed to ache from the burden of holding back rrgret. “I’m the one that missed you most and you leave me and I can’t even yell at you, you dumb selfish son of a bitch. I meant nothing to you, huh!” Thomas and the young man rise to stand and comfort Christine just as she falls on the floor. She begins to sing. “Savior, savior, hear my humble cry. Do not pass me by.” She wimpers tears flowing down her trembling chin. She beats her chest as if choking on food. “Kevin!” She sniffs and clears her throat. She screams”You never loved me back!”

Jasmine wispers ” look at her making such a fuss.” Delicia with tears in her eyes her lips trembling. ” Don’t tell me, you believe that mess.” Delicia snaps ” look she got every right to display whatever feeling she has. Do you think she came here to put on a show?” Jasmine looks shock ” yes! Yes I do.” Delicia ” and what about you? Can you say you liked him at all?” Jasmine shuffles in her seat as the pew squeaks. Delicia holds back her head and exhale” she honestly pouring her heart to a dead man nothing more. Far as I’m concerned looks like we the introdures” Jasmine folds her arms and rocks her bottom jaw. ” It’s an act. She has a young man.”

After the service Jasmine rushes to meet Christine, Adrian and the group. Adrian catches a glimpse of the charging Jasmine and blocks her. ” What do you think you doing?” Jasmine snorts ” why is she here? What does she think to accomplish putting on a show as if Kevin ever wanted her to be here.” Adrian raises her hand to slap Jasmine but the young man that accompanied Christine held her hand. He places her on firmly but softly to his chest as he asks looks Adrian in the eyes with nose deep light brown eyes and Kevin’s younger face. Adrian takes the hint and softly touches his face, she smiles at him with a nod then turns to see Christine waiting on her as she holds Adrian’s son hand with the other hand she rubs his back to assure him his mother is alright and to not intervene. The young man in front of Jasmine turn around and looks at Jasmine. “My mother taught me to respect my elders, but she also said allow no one to run over you. ” The young man points at Christine “that’s my mother and we just buried my dad. Please show some respect during a furneral. I am Kevin Jr.” He smiles a devilish grin with a scuff he turns away smoothly and rejoins the group as he takes his mother hand she smiles and holds his face.

Delicia mocking Jasmine ” That’s why he looks so much like him.” Jasmine jaw dropped. Thomas walks from behind Delicia ” Yeah, close your mouth before a fly jump in.” Thomas pops a few Skittles into his mouth Brandon moves from behind him”If I had known,” shook his head. He hits Thomas arms for a handout. Thomas makes a face but shakes a few skittles out the bag. Delicia ” Explains how Adrian and her get along so well. But kind of contradicts why would they?” Jasmine whisper ” She must have really liked him.” Paul he kept running from her, avoiding her calls, so instead of chasing him, she moved where those two met they shortly lost contact not knowing how Kevin looked fate had her marry but shortly after Kevin Jr Jr turned 3 they met at the Galleria and Bam we here now. ” Everyone looking at Paul. Paul smiles ” Sorry for your lost.” In the distant the two women and young men watch as the dirt was thrown on the casket.

A car pulls up and a tall man early 40’s with brown hair and bright brown eyes gets out the car. Alone with him a young lady that looks like Christine and a baby girl that takes after the man waves at the group. Christine runs to the man’s arms. The man lifts her as she kisses him dearingly. The little girl who looks to be about 6 tugs at her mom’s dress. Christine chuckles as she wipe the lipstick off of his lips.”Hay Demarkus what are you in the girls doing here?”Demarkus chuckles a deep laugh “I can’t go to long without you.” The little girl pulls at Christine until she picks her up. “Plus these two act like he would rise and tke you from us.” Emma the young lady “Mom is he

What’s It To You?

I am pretty sure friends don’t dish out envy, or false compliments.

We all have our baggage.

I never claimed perfection.

A matter of fact I’m far from it and cool with it.

I am never looking for handouts, never asked for pity, money or love.

I did beg a guy for sex, well honestly I wanted him to prove to me he wasn’t gay.

Ok weird but I am pretty sure he ain’t. Or is he? A part from the fact he rather have pics than body. I like him. I’m so into him I am pretty sure its love. It hurt me through. Told me I am slut. Kind of offensive coming from a guy that is one. Yet he made it seem like it was more to it. Accuse me of sleeping with a married man and when I denied it promptly he excused it with ” you were young.”

I was young? If I died today I’m still young but beside that why would such a jack ass excuse my sins? I never asked to be on display and honestly my what a knock the wind out my chest punch he gave like CB. Funny his role model in whom I didn’t test.

What’s it to a man to tell a woman her own sins? Can you bare my life stories and live it better? On the outside he has no idea what he’s doing. Playing second fiddle to the man’s demand and then want to throw a random and totally out of this world remark, shade, and shame upon someone who watched you from the corners become the man you are.

I am tired that blow really took me out for the count like being accused of murder. Seriously someone might as well came up and slap some cuffs on a sister after that blow.

A close ally she was supposed to be but all she did was really stayed the distance. I couldn’t get it. After 4 years we hadn’t really hung out. Guess that question at the party really took some people by surprise. You know what surprised me? That I only offered to cook for 5 people for New Years and it literally doubled day of, and during the whole thing I was cramped in a small kitchen asked over a dozen times by strangers “When the food was going to be ready.” or such like by young adults who seemed to have forgotten total manners from their parents. Annoyed that the only other person I wanted was the toad above to show up. Cheers.

Guess next time truth or dare come up I won’t ask anyone would they rather eat a slug or give head ever again. I rather eat a slug. He didn’t say that, through. Smh

To this day ridiculous tension among us. In the end, our ties will be cut, it’s just a matter of time. People who suffer from Self preservation never get it. You explode in unnecessary proportion when both suffer from one ended silence. Looks like talking behind my back is all they good at. Acting as through I have to be the glue when I know I’m rubber, all you say bounce off me and stick to you.