In short

Hum the sky is blue…the sky is always blue.

Roses are red, violets are blue

I thought I knew you

But if you come by I knock you black and blue

And that’s true.

Man I hope no one patent this too.

This world so full of greed it makes me blue.

I would like a car and own my own Barbie dream.

Everyone wants to be like O Winfrey but she doesn’t do like this doll whose let’s just admit got neat style and own a 3 story home just to put clothes and shoes.

Luxous Sensational Love

That feeling of soft lips and teeth or tongue switching plays between joys of high.

His hand around my waist as we dance and laugh.

We tease and poke or joke to make the other blush.

Pull me into you, close to you with that I know.

Breath me in, as I you like a winery drawn to finest of drinks.

Is there anything like this you can get with another?

Feeling of sun rays in my inner soul emitting to you, from you and throughout the rooms..

If in the heat of explosion you are not please with me even when we go back to pleasure may this heat burn a blaze.

Connect with me even in silence.

Yet never hide from me even in noise.

Teach me to come to you in place and shame me not if I stutter or fall.

Let go of your shackles free me of these chains.

Allow me in your secret of secrets.

Let me in when you want no one.

Tease my ears, as I stroke your neck and back hairs.

Allow my skin to dance across yours and haste not the journey to any end but endure the pauses without fear of utter close bridge.

Speak to me, when you have nothing to say.

Watch me if I walk away. Dare I turn around and you be nowhere.

Seek me if I be stubborn.

I bite only a little, but more bark than any

Less you desire me no more.

Then my bite nor bark will be none, for then you shall not find me.

Don’t make me wait and I be as a leaf in the wind.

Trees can’t bind me.

Nor mountains hide me.

So fill me unconditionally with concrete understanding.

Look at me as eyes of light and concern. Desire and longing.

Love me as geek finding breast of woman for the first time.

Show me how to live a love that is like no fairy tale can ever tell.

Cherish me as one never knew wealth found a formula to unending revenue and sell me not after getting all you can never need.

May with me you never get enough.

For you may I never cease witnessing the pleasures in your eyes when you see me.

Rejection

Oh how a bitter the pill the thorn in the heart this evil sensation.

Crying out in the chill of darkness, eliminating light from hope, such cruel words.

Wandering the vast land for a road that is my own.

Addicted to the appluase but abuse is all I get and know, I dont know what else.

This side don’t want me.

This side don’t like me.

wounded and howling in despaire of my reaching.

Am I seeing correctly?

What is in your heart?

What do you think of me?

Silence?

If I say no will you call me?

If I hurt will you aid me in splender and quickness?

i don’t. need nor desire to know why you left if you leave.

But if you stay be sure on your on accord to accept my conditions.

oh dream come to me with such a drive to finish the race.

I dont want to throw tandrums for leading or giving.

Abba Father send your angels as I went left and you told me right.

Look unto me again and break every uneven yoke in me, my life, and family.

Lead me and heal this shattered heart, broken mind, and wounded back.

I don’t want to be someones beck and call.

I don’t want to have to work to be kept.

I dont want to bend for what I keep.

With Good Intentions

In the distance a spark, a flutter.

Eyes close, imagination of wild teens in tall grass, laughing and running a mock.

It is a great day in the sun a, gentle breeze his hands dance and slide on her waist.

She pushes his hands away while fighting for air between laughs.

What are we?

The smell of his cologne. The way he mocks me as he assumes he best me.

I think I am falling for him but I can’t make out his face.

I feel loved by his welcoming embrace. I lay there staring at his eyes which I can’t make out.

There is but a fog over his features who is this beautiful, strong, and kind man I am so comfortable with?

I awake suddenly recalling the reality that is mine.

Dream man let’s meet again, for no lover awaits me in the other plane.

Also no shadow will hunt my heart if someone like you never text or call.

Lovely friend

Oh dearest love.

With such kind words, we exchange.

I feel warm when I speak to you.

I’m selfish but content.

Is it wrong I only need a genuine companion.

Any disappointment, disagreements just be my light.

If you are still doubting our direction or question rather to be distant.

My dearest friend relative discussion would dismiss hearsay and simple exchange nurtures all bonds when hearts accept difference of stands.

My beloved boon companion lend me your ear and I to you.

Give me vision and I shall repay. Revive my faith and I shall soar.

My beloved friend I love thee as myself. If you leave me, trust your absence shall wound me something fierce.

Happy Thoughts

I want to believe everyone is good and all that jazz.

With the mystery of life and wonders in the characters, heart, well is it in the heart?

Where do feelings come from?

Blood, tissue, bones, honestly where do feelings come from?

The mind oh it’s a complex tissue which controls many outputs.

The mind comes with ideas and somehow the eyes give visual and that too isn’t fully understood…

But I digress how anyone venture exploring these, what makes a man?

What makes the heart flutter? And yet turn off with a simple conviction or unhappy memory.

Do we seek to know or do we meet to convince self what we already percieve in our minds?

Why does making a friend seem so sloppy.

I wonder if I take certain steps to keep you interested or push you away.

I wonder if I should push you away.

I go by the flick of the wrist, the dice tumble and land in darkness.

Not like I would understand which way to go with arrows on them.

My fear engulfs me.

Am I so fickle?

If I extend my hand will I regret it?

The walls are closing in.

My fingers cold as a corpse.

My heart…my heart…oh what the hake does it know.

With all my terrible judgments. Maybe if it flutters I should run.

Then will I be safe.

Rejection

I don’t get the fuss. The hype. Or its misconception.

Yesterday I was hissed at by some male and it occured to me how many times that just displeased me.

How we thrive to make it on an average day, now this pandemic on the kiss of 2020.

Many times I yearned for the minds that witness a world beyond tangible words yet how I was many times left dismay of failed expectations from outside connections.

Oh how I wish to be chased by something that reached beyond stars, space, and time.

How I wish my physique wasn’t in the equation of such high demand by under nourished counter productive specimen.

Not that many were many but as the saying went only by few.

For more than ever is the world in grave need of acceptance, peace, forebearing, honesty, hope, and love.

Sex isn’t love. Nor the answer of void, or completion, or even a sign of acceptance or award for greatness.

Man’s words, past, and present change ever daily, and feelings a funny fickle demon.

I would adore rejection when it came to desires of such lustful activities in return for acceptance of truth, trust, love, and good Lord peace.

As I said hello to the strange man I realize how many times has one slide in and did better harm then good?

Pastors, couples, and leaders speak of relationship but I see no reason to pursue such ideas in such a time as this concerning seeking companionship in this serious present time.

Shyness in a male’s approach due to women countless, and unruly cold rejection won’t save him from death and beyond. Nor have I read, heard, or seen any deaths due to rejection at least not without a party physically hurting another on account of.

I see on the other hand no reason for any male to approach so sloppily as to not regard in a sense similar to that of a job, house, car or career of his dreams.

You approach as if you desire long term and with sincerity.

Only seems right that if your hissing at, or speak almost in a deep low tone to someone is the basis that intensions are much worst than humane, and I should not anticipate anything morale from someone with hidden agendas therefore my quick response to survive is to reject any prospects of a serious time consuming endeavors, or experiments.

Time is too precious to waste on someone who can’t face that either come correct or not at all. Yet during this time do we really have time for such a thing?

That part

with a heavy heart.

I see it, and it’s getting out of hand.

one minute I’m fine.

The very next I’m not.

Is it the holidays?

Is it corrvid?

sigh…I dont get certain families.

Hake I dont understand God.

We all are placed in this world….mind you I don’t recall asking….I dont recall begging or nagging….nor was I told why.

My little sister drives me batty as she reminds be of a certain crazy auntie…

Putting her nose where it seriously dont belong…then getting offended of reminding her of her place….

However she does that at work and gets irritated when people do that to her…

I guess stubborn and blind works wonders for her.

On the other hand I am establish…..on the other I sort of remind me of….a child. in a sense I wont apologize.

People dont accept mistakes very well.

They say it is a village that raise a child…..i would like to add it is a village that can screw up a child.

Too many opinions. Too many blind ideas and as we all grow some opinions change while others are immature and short sighted.

Raised in a big family doesnt make anyone better, familiar, nor will the views of life be the same one to another.

As I was a child I thought as a child. Breathed as a child…but as I reflected I was not always seen as a child nor treated in aspect of a child with innocence nor protected as bird thrown out of its nest….

Funny how in the world you be in a home and desire dysfunctions but stray from people.

People will taunt you…..i can like something and respect that others don’t but must I listen to you bitch about why you dislike it?

I don’t whine about the things you like but everyone has an opinion and in mine I don’t have to hear…and you don’t have to speak it…..

As long as I don’t ask for it…..

The void that I have most of all is how I miss the insanity of missing someone that I knew better than he knew himself not miss me….

But I digress in my house….or in someone house I never interrupt a parent raising their child….

I just decree respect for me and when I do the same for mine. Remember this; what scars you have to interrupt me? What sperm did you add? What money did I ask to help feed? Not a day went by where my child went without that I had asked for such handouts, put side of government of course.

Why kids today have no respect, and with right reason too many voices not enough one mind, one body, one voice….no respect among the elders so how can you get together in raising 1 child when that child has an undermined parent.

Maybe I am crazy but in all I feel in many aspects when a child is groomed get out the way for proper grooming you dont need many barbers for one head.

When an associate ask may I help you? it isn’t many associates. Unless you famous….

Messages are just best when given direct then multiple venues, for something always be amiss when too many mouths and ears are involve.

You have no idea

call me Alura

I want to draw him in like a little boy to an abyss.

I want to every inch be his very itch.

I want him to see but unable to grasp my essance til I give the order.

yes. I want his soul.

I have been waiting for the answer for so long.

Why has the fire not been quench but ablaze then simmer when callers came for its heat and left without feeding.

May his heart beats my name

and his mind knows no other.

I was so inexperience and new.

how little boys teased me and grown men threw stones while younger boys stole it.

I admit I was disappointed.

The first few times I had no expectation. What the hell could I have known?

A little girl wanting to know why they did that or this.

A young woman to know what he thinks and how I may please him so he may please me.

Later a mature enough woman to know he won’t tell

What he wanted I had no idea.

Then I wanted to know why that when I wanted this.

I always wanted this but they never even gave me that.

Telling me what I wanted. Never cared for request. Even if I didnt know. are verbal options so bad?

Pleasing me was the last thing on his agenda.

My last guy will be my last.

When he opens that door. I personally will eat his heart out.😘

Here’s to never

I see it.

Behold my eyes cannot unsee this.

My ears can not mute this.

And my heart can nolonger pretend the cut isn’t there.

For years..I only was trying to see you for your best.

I thought I was giving you my best.

Religious rules bound me.

Voices in my head ripped me, tore me.

and strict gardians suffercated me oh so daily.

I was to me a good girl. A good person, as nice as I could be but of course not a complete door mat.

I have or had admiration, aspirations, and dreams I do have fun, I yearn for sunshine on my, everything

I am simple but I like a challenge just dont test me.

was that complicated?

I perfer simple pleasures. Window shopping doesn’t faze me.

But I saw it.. The real you. The you that wish my existance to scatter as there are stars.

The blood in your hands….is that???

Tears rolling down my heated face.

My cheeks are on fire. My eye lash glued to each other

My chest is heavy,as I attempt to catch my breathe.

How could you?

With just a faint beat in the bleak of darkness I faint to the floor.

you smile as you knew you never wanted me and to show me how much you stumped it. One. Last. Time.

I dragged my feet for my trembling hands to reach.

To look over the damage which I allowed to happen.

I wept bitterly as my tears washed over the bruises and scars.

I wiped off the cobwebs of my shoulders where you thought was a chip, was acturally the placement for my dear heart and

with the new lock and key I dismiss any future ideas entertaining your return. Cheer to the new me for the old you can’t buy