Unusual comfort

I dont know when it started. Or even how.

It was just something that made the flow of things easy, when it should be I don’t know differcult.

I would never touch a married man.

I don’t even speak to divorce men.

They had their chance and to me, they took the cowards way out of something they so eagerly jumped into without any thought or genuine evaluation.

When I was young female peers were a drag. Yet male companion were exhausting.

What do I do. If a girl don’t like me just for no reason she conspires and gang up. Males used to do a solo assault but as I got older it got more violent and they began to gang up.

Teams on both sides. Conspiracy, rumors, rapes, muggings, and worse dumb endless rejections speaches why he thinks I should find my child’s father a guy whose name and face is as in the wind as a drug given so low life’s can take advantage of their victims. These scums that were known for endless rejections on a good day. That in fact no woman has ever told them yes, so in order to not die a virgin they took and it gave birth to a monster that gave Satan goosebumps.

Do you have a boyfriend? A husband? A man? Does it matter?

I can see it on your face and that hideous disgusting smile in your eyes. That it is just sex you want.

You want to use me then discard me, like all the rest.

So I brought me a promise ring and married my damn beautiful self. I am kept and I don’t have to worry will I leave me.

Will I not call me? Will I dislike my food? Try to find someone smarter, younger or prettier? Am I really busy or throwing airs. Will I treat myself with respect. If I snore, or does it matter if I gain or lose weight or career.

Married men, taken men are so much easier to speak to. They only want conversation, we don’t have any expectation and barely go by first name. Sir, ma’am. All we need.

Single men are trouble. They call you sugar, lady, my woman and I look at them like a fool sitting on a hot stove.

Morons who stick their nose so far up a person’s butt for info. So thirsty chasing after what’s between the legs because the hole, and void in their own lives.

With a man already taken I dont compete for intention, attention, attachment or commitment. He’s there as the bus driver, landlord, water man, mail man, all simply for business. No other use, for they have none. And when I move and I do move. I have zero interest in continue contact of any kind.

I simply am a person who needs my screen door fix, or the water man to turn the outside valve on.

I can live life without resentment, the hassle to please a married, or taken man is solely beneath myself. It is so hard to be around a guy looking for his next wife. Single or playing the field guys simply don’t get it. It’s only worth the chase if the other is on the prowl.

Uninvited and unnecessary advances when even the other person says quit. Can you win a game of pool when your own oppenant is yourself? Can you play tennis alone? Well just because I’m passing by doesn’t mean I’m interested.

It isn’t easy to carry a decent conversation with someone taking it so damn far. No touching feeling, or even family conversation.

With a taken male, I am just a buddy not something with breast, thighs, or even a woman. Just a person.

I can be me without thinking but ever cautious that he is indeed taken. A few laughs now take your ass home and fuck someone else.

It’s always been that way until someone gets the wrong idea. Some guy always fucks it up and I have to reclaim my shell, my dark corners my solitude.

Either it’s the friend or a neighbor, even the guy with his stupid imagination. Or by passer. Someone always reading too deep into it all.

Watching way too much t.v. or allowing the imagination to run rapid.

Being a wife is too much for me. The worry, the stress, the anxiety. The little moments of joy, isn’t worth the lifetime of thinking I am just the girl he married til he finds his model of the year.

Don’t get me wrong but even as the girlfriend, something comes up. He wants to suddenly marry someone else through he promised me the world.

Putting up face after sharing a bed and name and I just can’t shack up to appease him.

It’s just being with someone for the rest of my life is too high a gamble.

In some cases even just explaining to the wife there’s nothing. See what being in a relationship does? Make you insecure with your guy.

Not everytimt. It isnt what you think. It’s who you know. Maybe one party had some thoughts.

Perhaps both parties and nothing really came of it.

Many times a friend is just way better than some lover, and being alone is a better friend than any.

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