Motherly Tides

These emotions I often feel sweep over me stronger than any wind.

My heart constantly baring upon my shoulders.

I’m often too often compared to people’s mothers and grandmas but what I see is the failure to witness my true feelings.

I’m not concern with everyone.

I don’t hand money to the poor.

I don’t give scraps to dogs.

You won’t catch me smiling at young faces overseas.

I care about you. I worry about you with whatever degree I disperse.

I honestly don’t care for any of my associates the same measure but when I genuinely care. I notice the coding of why or placement value is really miscommunicated.

I hate that.

I hate that I wasted it on people that in the beginning I kind of felt all beings were a waste and but dispite that feeling I took a chance anyway and it was a gamble I could have done without.

How much do I regrate allowing this heart to feel for you more than you ever know. I count times of my feelings intent in its truest form how obvious but you mistook it.

You, you, you, and you always were ever more disguise your disgust of my nature and pissed on it by shooing it away with the whispers that were behind my back and the sly remarks as I was only embracing your presence with the sincere hope for longer companionship, was in fact the wrong company.

If I had been wiser I would be lonely but even so weren’t I alone your side?

What could I have changed so that your guard was not biting at my heels? As I sigh at the many bruises my eyes now open to the flesh torn from heart like shredded weed.

Was me caring a thorn in your side? Why entertain my concerns any further, as I see I was just a clown in your act, for so many years now like an old rag doll I am no use to you because now my feelings were but an old game like netindo you moved on to a better slimmer model of Xbox as I reminiscence in this past I was a fraud to believe the words out of your mouths.

How stupid, I would rather you showed me your hand as my cards were always on the table rather facing up or down I was the only one playing with the intent to win.

The game of life was just never in our favor. I taste a life of savory love that I wanted to embark the journey of sand in a car with the wind crashing in our faces later met with the aroma of roasted mellows in the wind of sea burst around us the sound echoes the heavens but aw these things were meant for me alone to share the silence with a cricket. A dream. A dream. A dream! I won’t dream again. A wasted affair.

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