I didn’t know how to put into words my pain.
I tried to ignore them but my flesh ache.
My face age.
My bones crack.
My mind broken.
My heart shattered.
I don’t understand.
Do you know what it means?
I’m not ignorant.
I went to 2 colleges.
The word just isn’t an everyday term.
Upset. Mad. Displease. Displace. Let go. Negative. A tease.
Everything but a child of God.
I’ve been called fat. Stupid. And every other name due to other misconception and online without a pic under an alias so I could move. Learn. Live. See. Interact with the world.
I’m glad we are in doors.
I can heal now.
Tormented at my former work based on the color of my skin
Told me I was going about with anomosity and he feared I might hurt him due to my silence.
Why does the nature of my skin give you the right to throw me away.
If i’m quiet I’m just simply am.
If I kick the grass. I’m violent.
If i’m yelling to be heard im out of control or ghetto.
If im quiet I’m plotting.
But if Sandy kicks the grass she’s having a bad day or simply kicking the grass.
If Sammie yells, he simply needs your attention.
If Ashley is silent, she simply don’t have anything to say.
If I say I’m in pain. I’m lazy. And deserve to die.
To be silent is to be subtle. To act in nature without a sound is not a crime in a workplace.
You upset that this colored woman isnt kissing your butt. You upset that I can do my job and potential of me climbing the ladder without kissing some CEO, manager, store owner or any higher up or co worker’s ass and not flirting but working diligent enough as a single mom to be great scares you.
That at work I’m not conversing to be a friend but a better worker.
You expected your lies to bring a bad side out of me. When it didnt you used your power to discharge me.
In reality my presence always offsets you. Whatever challenges you held I surpass and it worried you.
Where you worked hard finally something I was a natural in. You saw this and had to get rid of me.
No way this black woman can surpass me. About to marry and you couldnt have your place taken.
No need your spot after the honeymoon huh?
But do you know what the word animosity mean?
When did caring for your work as you stay on task, putting aside all personal matter mean strong hostility strong hostility strong hostility strong hostility strong hostility?
I guess that’s why I was so baffled. As no employer in this world can ever say I been hostile. Emotional maybe but hostile even if the person deserved it. I guess that why I am just worn out from the management mismanagement and the ill mannered co workers talking about sex, and size. But as a woman what can I do if the higher ups ignore my writing and pleads.
It may look bad on my resume to job hop. But I be damn if I take too much shoe marks and scuffs from people who plot to not only take my money but my life.
You can keep money but my life is my own