He asks me for a pic.
I ask why.
He says well it’s been awhile since last I saw you, and I was wondering if you change.
It’s been 9 years since I saw him. I known you for 10 years, I first met him 11 years ago.
Time has kissed my face.
These hips seen better days.
My sprint has little spring
My strength is as an aged tree. Yes I literally had better days.
It takes me 15min to doll up.
15min to get my face as perty and as natural, as I can and exchange for a pic.
After what seemed like disappointment or that maybe he could tell.
He calls me beautiful.
I haven’t heard beautiful and me in the same sentence so long.
I call myself beautiful. I refer to myself as lovely, or good enough to walk outside.
I do put effort but arrogant, self entitled, a holes make it hard.
Women are not items.
In sweats I was taunted. On the streets car horns wailed.
After kind rejection these pigs squealed b word, and whore that. And you ain’t all that anyway.
Honestly reoccurring as if where have the good men or gentleman gone?
Hiding away, or not in this city.
Later rapid news of monsters raping new born and little children is enough to just call it a day.
Stick with getting the bills paid, and groceries in.
Then you want out.
You don’t want me, or anything to do with me.
He called my attempt beautiful and I felt guilty.
He began to flirt, but I was already thinking of how you and I were.
That smile you had for me, was not real.
Waking up next to you was just a temporary thing.
He called me beautiful.
But I put 5x more effort for you and you say nothing.
20x the effort and you don’t bat an eye.
Tonight my eyes burn, and throat ache, when will the yearning of you dissipate so that I can love me?
Why hold on to any of you when it aches this bad?
Missing you makes me feel miserable
And he is planning to leave me too.
Beautiful? Hum like too much sugar you run.
Beautiful, darling I pray my dreams, aspirations, and goals take me places because beauty, fades.
And friends are dime a dozen, fading quicker than corrvid victims.