Superficial

Smh these people get on my nerves.

I recall back in my day people not asking me about eating watermelon but asking why I’m not eating ribs or swine.

Well hake if you want the slab grab it! Don’t mock me, or diagnosed me as Muslim cause I won’t.

I remember back in the day, when you were given an invitation, you were asked because the person wants you there. They want you there enough to give time, date, location and please at the end.

Recently I was asked to come to a “friend’s” graduation. I know this seem crazy.

It’s 2021 a pandemic, and shortage of head space, but for Pete’s sake I was only told to go to Oklahoma and a date.

I’m offended. Like is it only 1 colllege in that entire state?

So I texted another friend and she knew the stadium and the time.

Smh how about it’s late in the afternoon and I assumed it would be in the morning.

I don’t feel like the invitation was sincere but that it was casually tossed like a piece of scrape to a stray.

I am busy. Like who tells people I honestly am too busy with a life to text you a hello so I waited months to text back I’m busy. And btw here is the date and location I understand if you can’t come.

Unfortunately, or coincidentally I have a cousin that lives that for years.

“Um yeah I was wondering if you want to go to the mall, sike, um I forgot.”

“Oh um I am having a party in ATL this Saturday at 7pm and I know this is Thursday but love to see you.”

I don’t mind people having lives, lo and behold I stop you, but I am starting to feel like they are embarrassed of me.

I mean I’m not the type to care for status. I’m not trying to be a pink sister because no one spanks my behind or make me do stupid things to be a sister. *Cough cough gang! *

I’m the type I’m not trying to change you, your path is better suited for you, if you knew where your going.

As I figure out my place in the vast earth, time, and dimension.

I know exactly what’s in my account so I’m not some busy body pretending to have and be something I clearly am not.

Nor do I request handouts as my bills are paid😜 and not by some guy’s wallet.

One guy out the blue told me it’s ok to use a man in that way, and like me behind the wheel of a car on the highway I freeze.

It’s not right. I’m not crazy or smart enough to menauver in a world where women manipulate male genders to pay for livilihood and exchange for flesh or idea of sec but actually a tease. Honestly that’s just dirty. A slippery slope of violence waiting to happen.

My truths are my truths and I live at best I know how, without apology or approval. Putting my shoes on one foot at a time.

But for lunch I got me, if you have you.

Perfume breaks me out. Like I had a fight in bath and body works for the last tube of 18oz coconut pineapple.

I never thought it would come to this as I got older. I used to love cotton candy with a hint of vanilla. Or pomegranate with apple cider cinnamon.

So I smell like nothing as opposed to the other person whose mouth swamp places with their butt. Their pits with their feet but this person get the full 411 while I have to beg around for pieces of info.

So life moves on, as I weigh the opportunity to go or stay.

I am pressed. The idea to drive on the highway alone makes me cringe, but i wouldn’t dare touch a plan even before 9/11.

And there’s the pandemic. I’m not one to ignore we aren’t supposed to gather, plus was the invitation even genuine?

Why feed me little to no information if I was truly summon to arrive with sincerety no matter how busy no one feeds a person they like the least?

Also why is this white nurse keep asking me if I eat watermelon? Like seriously watermelon isn’t even a black thing.

Not even black doctors or nurse has ever asked me to eat watermelon or coerced me to admitting that watermelon is in my diet. I like lied in say if it’s in season. 😆😆😆Like I’m going to look online to see if grapes in season, I’m not.

I’m more of a grapefruit juice kind of gal.

I’m not a huge person why waste something so huge and filled with seeds and what the hake am I’m supposed to do with it?

Watermelon flavored airheads has more flavor in one bite, and less mess, and mass in grocery bags. And far more easier to toss and clean. Watermelon? Me? Please those things are like pumpkins serves no purpose.

During this pandemic I feel the panic and fear of society to be misguided.

We all have to die sometime, and no one is going to know everything.

It’s useless to be out in the store less you need something.

It’s useless to try to put strangers, and friends into certain boxes because either that person is a friend or not.

It’s useless to spend all that money and hope to get more handouts from the government when your not a wise decision maker.

It’s useless to care rather I eat watermelon cause the color of my skin or religion when your not the one buying and eating with me.

I could be buying the darn fruit to play with, smash with a hammer or drop on some unsuspecting persons shoulder.

Buying a watermelon due to race is no more true than a person that buys food is a chef.

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