Why you gotta be so insecure

Reminiscing bout the old times.

Haunted dreams about the present times.

I couldn’t be who he want so.

He drop me like a bad habit out in the cold.

Try saying I’m doing everything wrong huh.

But I’m far too wise for that now.

I let you be a man but you won’t let me be my own person.

So used to having 2 thinking for the behalf of one now.

Again and again all is taking care of him, huh

Can’t help that my considerate image is wash board.

You seeking love of a hood girl, a proud girl, an all in your face where you at right now love.

But I’m sick of fights, I won’t beg you to stay and I won’t nag you to see where your freaking at every day.

Not momma suppose to be your friend, not your daddy suppose to be your girl, I came correct as a woman with fleshy feelings worn on my sleeves in a whole different world.

Tears on my pillow missing you.

But all you see is what I wouldn’t do.

Love took and took and so all I know is not to break from bending from serving you.

I can love and you put my wants to back but I won’t throw shade to me needs for you too.

Why you driving me to be so insecure, all I gave but babe I won’t do that.

All the times I hounded you for love I left a space for you not to hurt me.

Cause deep within I knew your type, all your are is the wolf in the night.

When I need a knight in my terrors all I see is sharp teeth to my horrors.

No one ever reach deep for my hidden places.

No I’m wearing mask over mask over makeup of the scars.

Swimmed in deep waters before my time, now I’m shaking in my boots forever hoping you won’t use my past against me.

Waiting to hear the words it ain’t my fault. Forgetting all I can see is what my heart fears it can’t trust.

My monster is me now.

Sharp teeth over scales to protect her now.

You can love me but don’t get close her now.

Cause I distant you like a black plaque of Harlem see.

Glad you found what makes you happy and warm.

I accept my papers of freedom and hit the open road alone now.

Let me erase eradicate, illuminate, annihilate all the memories of you and yours.

So to set my horizons on one that loves me as a woman.

Cause I gave all I can give but I won’t do that.

If leaving who I am to be something I’m not is the only sure way, then darling I rather be without.

Then wear a mask of smiles as you exploit me til there is no me son.

I want to dance under the sun, in the moonlight if alone on the board walk bare feet among the fireflies then let me be.

Cause the scariest thing is being in a relationship feeling alone then I won’t do that.

Free me of fears of my past, wash me that I may fly, above the haters, above the rampaging image droppers, the jealous stab you in the backers, the nay sayers, the fake friends help me to see my Judas and Peters.

Help me to love in a way that is light and not heavy everytime something comes up.

Be my build her up not my cast me down.

If my insecurity should surface like a corpse in water, be my hedge not my vulture to the wolves.

If you shall ever see my scar in it’s hidden place cover me, don’t run from me.

My shattered pieces are still me, but if your willing we can make whole if you just don’t disappear.

All I ask is don’t use my weakness against me, because she all I got, and I’m protecting for I am the flames and all who oppose are the moth, doesn’t mean I won’t get burn too.

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