I returned back to the city I hated.
I was disgusted by old associates because honestly they either bore me with the past that they remembered or presume I very much the individual they painted.
I kept giving the “you must be stupid?” look.
It didn’t work.
I being the follower of Christ I asked “Lord can’t you just remove them?”
Apparently I should have known better.
My trial wasn’t that I assumed I’m better.
No, how do I believe I’m better? Different as all get out, but not better.
You may know something I don’t, and I don’t care.
See I was very young and about 3 years old, seriously. I found this entire big world to be….annoying.
Your parents give you commands, leave you with other dumb adults, who don’t get your a child and expect you to menauver as they see fit even at the cost of disrespect, innocence, and youth.
See adults called me whatever they wanted since I could remember and was lied on and too for so long the entire world through I not know it, was my enemy.
I wanted to sit and watch and just pray for it’s doom while I take tokens here and there aka stealing but not major things. Neglected pretty weird things. No I knew a time these things I collected wouldn’t be here long.
It felt weird to just let them stay on the floor, or on a table where it could probably end up on the floor. Or in you pencil case you clearly didn’t want cause if you did you have respectfully put it away. Not toss it. Or slam it. You clearly did not deserve it. In the words of ducky “no no no no they didn’t.”
No nothing major. But I got spanked straight so I pay before I leave, unless 2 leaves of mother in law tongues left at the floor of Lowe’s cross my path and the cashier simply wave me off from scanning all other plants and post stand then no nothing major.
I had to later reconsider if that be a wise thing but what could they charge me? These were leaves left on the floor. Large leaves but leaves. Unlike the eraser, or the colorful paperclip or light purple scented writing paper.
Once I was accuse and framed for stealing a wooden sphere shape carving…honestly nothing unique or precious about it. Not like a wonder flexy pencil that writes and you can sharpen to a numb. Plus adults are very stupid, a child thief back in my youth would not snitch on themselves. Then plant the very thing in their own belongings. You have to be an utter moron. Just be silent and wait. The teacher presumed me guilty but didn’t think to consider my rap. I was the first Staples in 3rd grade, we don’t need spheres or shapes.
People can bring out in you what is the very mirror of self.
Or you can rise above antipaction, my life and reaction are my own.
I define my life to what makes me happy.
I recently became nosy to an old friend’s well being, reflecting on incidents that I came to conclusion I would just rather see on media than ask or reach out, just darn curious about a thing or two.
The mind is a peculiar thing, it hatches ideas either far fetched from reality or too close to the truth, you just never know what you get.
Some not all have a way of surprising you. I tell you the truth, I hate surprises. It better be a damn wonderful one to get me.
I strolled through his friend list, a handful of people I recognize, season with time.
Gone on with life, people I knew in one season of my life who I could see doing very well have gone beyond imagination.
Honestly didn’t give them much thought. i didn’t envy any of them, but maybe had me think.
I didn’t want that life I just suspect what happened to that fire to be a woman of powerhouse class magnitude?
Maybe I just didn’t do too well with my cards.
But if I wanted to, I can still bring down the house. I just rather still do it with the people that will lift one another up.
Cause I had enough Judas to last me a lifetime.
It’s not about how many people you have, or what we done in our past, or didn’t do, I am more concern say even if we disagree i mean a terrible disagreement and something just didn’t add up but we refused to seat and talk if God allows you and I to see tomorrow, you call me up, we move on from the querrel to glory.
Why it has to be you? Um well cause. Well hake I accept apologies better and willing to apologize myself.
It’s timeout for seeing me as you want, or I seeing you as I want, but the acceptance to accept, mature, build and grow.
Most importantly when it counts my back you got cause when the chips are down and we’re in the ring I don’t want to fight in a team match against my own bloody team.