The awful trip

My heart pounding in my chest.

He must think I’m gross.

I do try.

My nails have taken a terrible turn.

I even put on the oils, the lotion, the Mani treatments from CVS and soaked in lavender salt every so often.

Recently I discovered my iron medicine made a fool of my nail beds because I stopped popping pistachio for awhile but to no end the pain was there.

To fingers I don’t use to crack those puppies.

I haven’t gotten my feet done since 09 and before that never.

Uh I think to myself why do you torment yourself.

Maybe I’m over thinking it.

I’m taller then this guy.

My feet makes perfect sense for my height.

I walk alot.

No one knows my struggle.

Why am I fighting myself over a small pampering moment?

Maybe I should tip this guy for touching my feet.

Maybe I shouldn’t he missed a spot.

,…I guess that money was for the message and someone touching my feet.

I hate the guilt like really.

This self-conscious beating me down and driving me nuts.

I don’t owe them anything.

And of course no returning. I see I can just save by doing it myself. It looks like something I did anyway.

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